I’m getting overwhelmed and I haven’t even started yet…what do?

Well, you’re no help.

It’s ok. I’ve come to the conclusion that I just spend my life overwhelmed and waiting for the next “thing” to happen. Actually that’s not completely true—but a little bit, it is. So, this is me trying to determine what that next “thing” is because for the first time in my life I feel like I have a say in it.

What I mean to say is that I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Yeah, yeah, I know I’m a certified (certifiable?) adult, but I find myself just going through the motions of life. I go to work and I come home and I wait to go to work again. My 9-5 work drains my social battery and I’m an introvert (though you might disagree if you met me), so I don’t really have a social life. My circle is intentionally very small, and I prefer it that way. What’s different about now is that for the first time in my entire adult life I don’t have responsibilities caring for another individual, so I think maybe I’ll try caring for me.

I know making art helps me to keep negative feelings at bay, and makes me feel like I have purpose. Creating makes me happy. Figuring out how to do things by using a new technique or tool sends chills down my spine. When the spark of an idea comes it’s truly exciting and I don’t want to stop working until it’s perfect. Spoiler alert: it never is. But sometimes it comes pretty darn close to what I had in my head and that I count as a win.

I saw a short video about the Japanese concept of finding your purpose in life - ikigai. I’m trying to make my circles overlap, and I need to figure out whether my art is good enough to make that happen. The only real way to figure that out is to put it out there and get some feedback. So, this is going to be kind of a process journal and showcase of my (very amateur) artwork. I hope you like it.